Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

I always thought this verse was kind of "prosperity gospel." For those not familiar with the underground vocabulary of a Tumblr Christian, "prosperity gospel" is when preachers or churches take verses from the Bible and twist them to say "If you love Jesus, good things with happen. If you love Jesus, your life will be easy. If you love Jesus, you will get money. If you love Jesus, your business will succeed, etc." That's not the way Christian life is though. We are not guaranteed an easy life. In fact, we are told in the New Testament that the world will hate us because they hated Jesus. So back to that verse up there. I always read it as something to make people feel good, like "delight in the Lord, and He'll give you all the material and worldly things you want." But here's what's different about this verse. When we delight in the Lord, get our joy from Him, then His desires for us, become the desires of our hearts. We desire love and acceptance, justice, peace, joy, etc. When our delight is in Him, and not in the world, those desires overcome the desires of the world. So when we delight in the Lord, He gives us all of those things, and then some. Galatians 5:22-23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Because these are fruits of the Spirit, when we have the Spirit in charge of our life, this is what will come from us. These will be the things our hearts desire.

So awesome, guys! 

God is so cool, y'all

As an intern, I've had to prepare a lot of devotions and talks that will be done later in the summer. In preparing my talk for last night's youth service, I was basically talking to myself. Everything I said to those students completely applied to my life. As I prepared and read and outlined, God was teaching me without me even realizing it. This happened again as I was preparing devotions for beach camp. Everything I said completely applies to me. When I read back over them, it's like someone else had written them for me to read. I can't even. It's so awesome. And it's just going to keep going. I have three more talks to do and a devotion for a mission trip meeting. God's doing great things, guys. 

I seriously never blog anymore. For awhile, I would have sporatic thoughts that didn't require an entire blog post, so I would post those on Tumblr. I have since logged out of Tumblr with little intention of returning. It's not a terrible place, but I wasn't growing in my relationship with Christ in any way being there. So here we are. Back together at last.

I'm doing an internship this summer at my church with the youth group, so basically I help everything happen. I get to go to both beach camps and the mission trip in July. In between, I get to do whatever comes up. I'm not gonna lie, I'm extremely nervous about this. I only attended this church for two years before heading off to college, so I really don't know that many people. I don't know my boss (the youth pastor) very well, because like I said, I wasn't there for very long. I think I'm afraid that the students won't like me. I'm not familiar to them, so I'm worried that they won't respect my "authority" and won't want to hang out with me or talk to me. That seems to silly putting in that context. I, a rising junior in college, am afraid of sixth graders not liking me. Seriously, though, it's been a real worry for me.

But there is good news! My identity is not determined by who likes me! I am not who I am because middle school and high school students approve of me. My identity is found in my salvation through Christ's death on the cross! I am a daughter of God and He loves me. Nothing else matters. It doesn't matter if it turns out that the students don't want to hang out with me, God does, and He is the only One who truly matters. This may sound cheesy, or obvious, or whatever, but as a girl with many insecurities, this is so encouraging. I wish I had known this growing up as much as I do now. I don't need to be accepted by man, and the Bible even tells me that I won't! The world hated Him, and it will hate me. But I am so encouraged by who I am surrounded by thsi summer. I have only heard my youth pastor speak His heart on a few occasions, and tonight I heard his heart for those middle schoolers preparing to go to beach camp. He loves Jesus and is jealous for them to know Him as he does. I cannot wait to work with him and continue to see his heart for the Lord and His ministry!

Seriously, y'all, this summer is going to blow all of my expectations into the trash. God's got better plans.

Also...

"If ever I forget my true identity,
  show me who I am, and help me to believe.
You have bought me back with the riches of
Your amazing grace and relentless love.
I'm made alive forever, with you life forever,
By your grace I'm saved!"
   -Citizens "Made Alive"

Why is Today Awesome?

 If you've ever watched Five Awesome Girls on Youtube, then that question is a familiar one. "Why is today awesome?" probably doesn't cross our minds too often, especially days surrounded in stress. We tend to think about what's wrong with our day and what we can complain about. Or.... maybe that's just me. But recently I've tried to have that attitude. I have a mirror on my door, and in Expo marker it asks me that question as I leave my room every day. Some days, I have a lot to write on there. For example, one day I got a ton of good grades back, so I wrote that on there. Some days it's just one thing as simple as "I woke up to my alarm and didn't sleep in". That's still something that was awesome about the day. I've found that thinking about these awesome parts of my day makes me have a more gracious and thankful attitude. It's pretty neat. You should try it out.

 On a different, but not entirely unrelated note, I also have a tally chart on my mirror. I'm tallying all the days when I don't have soda. Do you know how much weight you can lose when you don't drink soda? It's crazy. I'm really trying to be more healthy. I weighed myself over the Thanksgiving holiday, and I was WAY more than I want to be. It's so easy to lose control of your weight, and if I continue to live the way I do, I will be in much worse shape. Hopefully this isn't just a phase of wanting to be healthy, but it actually stays and I lose some weight. We'll see. Pray for me, okay? 

The cold... It's coming!!!

I've discovered recently how much I absolutely love the cold weather. At least in South Carolina anyway...

In the summer, I always feel so gross. No matter what I wear, I'm always sweaty and a hot mess. I never look cute in the summer because it'll just look a mess later. I usually just put on a tshirt and some norts and call it a day. Now, there is nothing wrong with this! I love my norts and tshirts. It's the best! But...

In the cold weather I can wear cardigans! I can wear awesome scarves and flannel, and fuzzy socks! I can wear fleece pajamas, and my peacoat! I can wear awesome boots and sperrys. I swear, the only cute clothes I have are cold weather clothes. It's exciting when I can finally wear them!!!

Another thing I love about it getting cold is the fact that I have more of an excuse to wear yoga pants and drink hot coffee and chocolate at all hours of the day.

Also, cold weather means it's getting close to December! December means cookies with reindeer on them and marvelous Christmas music.

Can you tell how excited I am that it's getting cold??

Don't get warmer, Columbia!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Not Ashamed

I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

If this statement is true, why I don't I talk about it more? Why am I so afraid to tell people that I believe that Jesus Christ died in my place to cover all of my inperfections? Why am I afraid to tell people what God's done in my life, in efforts to "not offend them". They have no problem "offending" me. When they believe in something, they let it known. It's extremely ironic that today is National Coming Out Day. These people are not ashamed to proclaim that they are proud of their sin. They delight in telling others what they believe is right. Why do I not have this same spirit? I think it's because I want to be liked. I want everyone to like me, so I just don't say anything that might offend them. That is crazy. I should be putting my life on the line for the One who died for me! I didn't deserve that love, and I still don't! What I do need to do, though, is show people that I am thankful and want to live my life for Him. The Gospel is for everyone, not just me and my friends. It's not just for people who are "open". It's not just for people who are easy to talk to. It is for EVERYONE! The Gospel is for the people who think they're too intelligent for it. The Gospel is for those who think they can handle life on their own. The Gospel is for those who believe in other gods. The Gospel is for those who are so against it, they'll kill people who preach it.

Now that I've been reminded of that, I need to act on it. I can't just sit around and wait for people to be "ready" and "open". They need to hear what God has done for them. It's amazing!! I can't be selfish and keep it to myself. 

Thinking about Christ's love for us never ceases to amaze me. He knows all our crap. We can't hide any of it from Him. YET, He loves us ANYWAY! This is insane, you know?! He knows my sinful heart. One of my favorite lines from a song is "You know the depths of my heart, and You love me the same." He loves us THE SAME! He doesn't  love us less or more because of where our heart is. He knows our sinful desires, knows what we do when no one else is around, knows our motives, knows our wicked wicked sin. But he continues to love us, and to pursue us. Does anyone else find that absolutely amazing?! It's so wonderful. 

One of the best parts about this, is that marriage is supposed to reflect this amazing love God has for His Church (aka us). Everything is out in the open: all of the faults, mistakes, and sin. Even through all of it, though, your spouse still loves you and continues to pursue you and the relationship between you. Gosh, that's amazing. This image of marriage is supposed to point others to Christ! Unfortunately, that's not how most marriages are these days. We aren't pointing to God's love for us. That's why God's unconditional love for us surprises us a lot of times. We aren't used to someone loving us despite all of our crazy and messed up lives. I love to see marriages that display that, though. It gives me hope that my marriage will be one that reflects Christ's love for me. Obviously, that's not really happening soon. But when it happens, it's gonna be awesome.