Worship

Hey world wide web of noone!
So I've discovered that the closer I get with my relationship with Christ, the more I WANT to listen to Christian music. It speaks to me in such a different way. I know that there are many kinds of worship, but music is my FAVORITE way. I can use my God-given talents and turn them back to him.

What am I listening to now? Came to my Rescue- Hillsong, If We've Ever Needed You- Casting Crowns.

College

So I know it's only December, but I finally got accepted into college! USC and Winthrop both accepted me :) yay!!!!!!! Hopefully, if teaching fellows loves me enough, I'll become a Gamecock :) yeahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Just thought I'd put that out there... cause I'm a little excited. :D

stream of conciousness

Yeah you heard me! I'm a senior! How crazy!!! I feel like I've grown so much since I was a freshman. Maybe not physically... but definitely spiritually and emotionally. This is so insane though. In a few months... I'll know where I'm going to spend the next four years of my life... IN COLLEGE!!! It's seriously blowing my mind.

So on a very irrelevant topic, it's too cold for November. It feels like it should be snowing. but is it? NO! gr

CADDY SMELLED LIKE TREES... I like trees....

^^ The Sound and the Fury. confusing, but somewhat enjoyable. That's what my fall oral is going to be on. sounds fun right? wrong. I'm not particularly looking forward to that adventure. But, considering that I've gotten 100s on all of the quizzes relating to said book... I think I don't have much to worry about.

So I'm pretty excited. Why, you may ask? Well be patient, dear friend, and I will tell you. BECAUSEEEEE Chris is getting this game for the XBOX Kinect. It's pretty much a dance party. In honor of such a wonderful invention... we're having a dance party after the Mauldin tournament Saturday night. It should be a fun time. Although... there's going to be a massive amount of white boy dancing going on.

So yesterday I got a lot of college application stuff done. I've already done turned my USC application in (please please please accept me :)) Yesterday I sent in my app for Winthrop and all I have left to do is turn in Francis Marion, App State, and those darn scholarship essays. But I'll get it done :) Cause I'm cool like that.

LIKE A G6. LIKE A G6. NOOOOOW I'M FEELIN SO FLY LIKE A G6.

Did you know that a "G6" is a jet plane? who knew??!!! not me I'll tell you that much.

Well sorry if I bored you a little bit. Next time maybe I'll have something more interesting to talk about... but in the mean time.... love, learn, and live <3>

Unfailing Love

Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken

and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken

nor my covenant of peace be removed,”

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_MyC6kJzPg

Reflections

This summer has been the most surprising summer. I learned more about myself and about the people around me. For example, I learned that hating people for no good reason at all... doesn't get you very far. People can surprise you when you get to know them. I learned that comparing myself to others doesn't get me very far either. I forget time and time again that I have been made by God for a purpose. Perhaps that purpose doesn't require me to have an IB diploma. Perhaps that purpose doesn't require me to be athletic. Perhaps that purpose doesn't require me to be the smartest in my class. God has a reason for me being who I am, and it's about time that I embrace it. Another thing I learned is that when I'm myself, I make a lot more friends than when I'm trying to be someone else. I also learned that I love Youtube videos :) I learned that it's about time I become friends with my big sister. I learned that material possessions like iPods and digital cameras aren't necessary for me to be happy. Story? I was at mission trip, right? And so when we went to our site I put my camera and iPod and stuff in my backpack. I had my sunscreen and bug spray in a seperate bag so that if it busted, it wouldn't mess anything up. Well, not only did they burst, but the bag opened as well. Now, my iPod doesn't have a working screen and my camera can't take a picture in focus. Does all of that matter in the long run? Will me not having those things affect my life as I know it? The answer: no. I learned that I need to spend as much time as I can with my friends, because before I know it, we're going to be graduated from high school... going to different colleges...living different lives. So this year, I'm a new person. Maybe not completely, but aspects of me are definitely going to be different.

Thanks for reading! (yeah, right.)

A Weight Has Been Lifted

So I was at Garden City Beach Camp a couple of weeks ago, right? Well while I was there I took this class called "Testify" pretty much talking about how we can witness in our every day lives. Well on one of the days, we read this verse in Revelation and it was talking about what Hell would be like. Our teacher asked us how it made us feel and I said that it makes me want to reach some of my friends more. I talked about how one reason I felt so strongly about Gary dying was because I wonder what more I could have done as a friend to make sure of his destination. My teacher said that she understood and that we can't save everyone. Sometimes there's not much more you can do than be a Godly example, especially when they are confident in their own religion. Although I don't want that to be an excuse, it really made me feel a lot better about the situation. A weight truly has been lifted off of my shoulders. It's way overdue. And though I will always miss him and love him, I'm finally accepting that sometimes, you don't have control and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Today's Gary's birthday... 18th to be exact. This is the hardest I've cried for him. I was reading over his blog and he kept talking about how awesome his senior year was going to be and how he hopes he'll still talk to these people when he's like 30. gosh it freaking kills me. I need something to distract me. Something to make me smile. I miss him so much. so terribly much.

Summer is here!

So yesterday was Graduation!!! I was so excited for the Class of 2010! They have had an extremely hard year and they got through it! They had an empty chair for Gary. They also gave his family his diploma. I cried. a lot. But I could feel that he was there in spirit. Then after that, Worthy, Nia and I roamed around Furman until it was time for Lizzie's concert! She beasted by the way. So that start of summer was awesome. Then today came. I've been doing Formspring for awhile right? Well I get up this morning and see that I have a question that says "Please fix your fugly teeth". Rude much? 1) Considering I've been living with my teeth like this for quite some time you would think that I would notice that my teeth aren't particularly straight and pretty, but I guess I'm blind or something because they felt the need to remind me. 2) I can't just go "oh, my teeth aren't pretty. *poof* all better! no! I need braces, I'm aware. But you know how much braces cost? THOUSANDS of dollars! Maybe the person who wrote that "question" hasn't had money problems all of their life, but my family has. My mom was a single mom from the time I was in 2nd grade until around 6th grade. My stepdad lost his job about 2 years ago. We have had health insurance on and off for the past year. He finally got a new job that will cover 50% of the braces cost. First, though, both my stepdad and my mom have broken teeth that give them pain that needs to be taken care of. Also, I'll have to get my wisdom teeth taken out before I get braces. Then we'll have to wait for more money to become available once that procedure is done. Then considering how screwed up my teeth are, it's going to take quite a few years having braces before they're fixed. 3) When you say something that rude, at least be courageous enough to say who you are. Don't hide behind anonymousity! That just makes you a coward, and NO ONE respects a coward.
So yeah. That's how I feel about that. If someone has something to say about me, say it to my face. Think about what you're saying before you say it. Don't be a jerk. Nobody likes them.

John 16: 33

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" 

It's so amazing how God speaks to me. The book I'm reading for Discipleship right now is called "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. I recommend it. But yeah. So it's all about the Holy Spirit and recently it's been talking about peace which I desperately need. And so I have that. And I'm reading along and it says "Right now I want you to take a break and open your Bible to the book of John. Read chapters 14 through 16 and give yourself some space to soak in the words you read". So before church Wednesday night that's what I did. And John 16:33 was the last verse. How awesome is that?! And it doesn't stop there. That night guess what the topic was.... PEACE! and earlier this week I was on Youtube and I heard this song by Mercyme called "I Would Die For You". AMAZING song! The first verse is this:

And I know that I can find You here
'Cause You promised me You'll always be there
Times like these, it's hard to see
But somehow I have a peace, You're near
And I pray that You will use my life
In whatever way Your name is glorified
Even if surrendering
Means leaving everything behind

amazing right?! Completely relevant to my life right now! God is good. no, not good, GREAT! no, not great, amazing. no, not amazing, INDESCRIBABLE! I love Him! I can't wait to see what He does with my life!!!

Encouraging Verses

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us. -Romans 5:2-5

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. -James 1:12

The Spirit of the world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for he lives with you and will be in you. -John 14:17

But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you. -Romans 8:10-11

For God, who said "Let light shine out of the darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. -2 Corinthians 4:6

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. -2 Corinthians  2:16

Oceans from the Rain

And I'm amazed by you, cause you're never far away

And all that I've been through, your love has never changed

You make oceans from the rain

Breathing life into this place

and I will drown inside your love

until I see your perfect face

And nothing I've acquired means anything at all

Cause you're everything I needed

You're so much more than I deserve

You make oceans from the rain

Breathing life into this place

And I will drown inside your love

Until I see your perfect face

And I thank you, Lord

And I thank you, Lord

And I thank you, Lord

And I thank you, Lord. 

You make oceans from the rain

Breathing life into this place

And I will drown inside your love

Until I see your perfect face

The blood of Jesus will wash it all away. 

~Seventh Day Slumber, Oceans from the Rain.

This is such an amazing worship song! The beautiful rain today reminded me of it. It's so encouraging. Throughout all of the storms in your life, He'll make beautiful oceans from the rain. He'll never fail me. He'll always be there. 

sigh

It's times like these when I wish it could have been different. I can't get to sleep tonight. And usually on nights like these I would text Jordan and he would say, "Well what's on your mind, babe?". Even if there was absolutely nothing we would talk until I fell asleep. We agreed we would be friends, but he hates me. He has to for what I did. I still am not ready to get back together with him, and I don't know if I ever will, but he always knew how to just listen. But we're not to the point yet when i can just text him as a friend and everything be OK. I miss what we were. Before all the arguments and before he went to college and before we both changed. Things were just different. I know I'll find that again somewhere with someone, but right now it's just hard. Like last night, I heard the (only) song we danced to at prom last year. and what did I do? I cried. Like a little baby I cried. It was horrible. I'm not saying (please don't misinterpret) that I'm wanting to get back together with him. If we do get back together it will not be anytime soon. Considering that I really need to focus on other things and he needs to show me that he can change even when the shock of all this is over. But I guess this is all just part of the process. Tomorrow I'll probably want to cry because I'll think of how he used to send me cute little texts in the middle of the school day. He hasn't done that in quite some time, but just like that dance at prom, it will all come flooding back to me. I hope he knows that I don't regret the past 3 years. I wouldn't take it back for anything in the world, but I think that it's time we both figure things out for ourselves. 

sigh: the summary of my emotions right now. 

New Chapter

So in case you're actually out there reading this blog of my life, you may have noticed via Facebook, that Jordan and I are no longer together. 

It wasn't easy if that's what you're thinking. It wasn't one of those, "I'm really tired of you so I think I'm just going to end it." and I don't have another guy on the line. 

So why did I break up with my boyfriend of over 3 years? Well, I'll tell you. Things weren't working out. Now I know that sounds so general, but it's true. When you're on the opposite side of the state as the person you are dating... it gets kind of complicated. We were fighting more than we were simply talking. It wasn't fun. There were more bad times than good, and when that happens, you know it's time to split. 

Am I happy about this? Not particularly. But I do know that I needed a break from it all. I cry every now and then, which should be expected. This isn't something that will just blow over though. It's a break. I don't need to be tied down to anyone and neither does he. If we gravitate back towards each other eventually then we do. If we meet new people and become happy with our separate lives, that's also Ok. 

I have senior year to look forward to and 4/+ years of college ahead of me! I'm excited about what is to come. And God has that man out there for me somewhere, but if I'm hanging onto the wrong one, how will I ever find him? 

If you're actually reading this, and actually care enough to know the information more in depth, text/call me. But I would rather not post my entire life story on the World Wide Web. 

Love yall. :)

It's over

So, the torture ends. What am I referring to you ask? MIDTERMS! You don't get to enjoy your winter break because of them. You get slapped in the face mutilple times BY them, and after they're over, what happens? YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! At least in finals you know it's over. sigh. I really need to get these grades up so I can stay in NHS. *sigh* this just adds to my desire to go for my certificate instead of IB diploma. All this crap is ruining my GPA. seriously. Wanna know something though?! You'll never guess I promise. okay here it is................... I MADE A 92 ON THE APUSH EXAM!!!!! Happy for me? You should be. I studied like crazy for that exam and it's the only one where my efforts paid off. But hey, at least I passed them all. Well actually I shouldn't really say anything since I haven't seen my Bio score, but considering there should be a great deal of extra points on there, it might be alright. That exam was a slap in the face. It was like, "oh, you thought you knew this? WRONG!" or "oops, didn't think this would be on here did ya? Just skimmed over that part didn't ya? sucks for you! cause there's 5 freaking questions about it! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. IB sucks. For seriously. At least we have a long weekend after all of this trauma. But guess what I get to do in this long weekend! Study for the SAT that's next Saturday that I am signed up to take. and reading ahead for classes so I can start out the new semester being an awesome student. I am determined to convince my teachers that I am not an idiot. I know what I'm talking about. I'm not a slacker. (ok i have been, but this is the new Faucette, kk? Not the lazy slacker Faucette that needs sleep.) Yep. Should be a fun semester. 

Yes I finally have a picture. woo hoo! Not like anyone reads this and cares, but hey, you never know I guess. So I've been thinking recently about what I want to do with my life. I know at least one thing: Whatever I do, I want to make an impact. I want to make a difference. When I die, I want people to have good things to say. I DON'T want to sit around and waste my life. So last night I was reading the second chapter of "Don't Waste Your Life", and he started talking about when he didn't know what he wanted to be. He mentioned the word "missionary" and I felt this sort of.... I don't know how to describe it. It was like God was just showing me one more sign that I should be involved in the ministry. When I thought about me becoming a missionary I almost cried. I don't really feel worthy enough to do that as a profession. I look up to people like Chad and Ryan Morgan in Lynch, KY who live faith-based. They don't make an income. All of their needs are met by God. I want that kind of faith. Knowing that God will always provide a way. I feel like I am supposed to go and be a missionary. Where? That I do not know. But... I have a guess. You see when I was in KY this summer (where my pic was taken) I felt as if I was meant to be there. I didn't want to leave when it came time to go. It was so beautiful. I could see God's glory and majesty everywhere I looked. He was in Shekinah Village. He was in the people there. He was in the nature. When you go to the overlook, you can see across 3 states. It's like the mountains never end. I want to go back so badly. sigh. So now that I've let out what I've been thinking about for the past 24 hours, I need to go. Cross your fingers for snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything Glorious

So this is a song by David Crowder Band (My favorite band :)) I was reading a book last night called Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, and it just kind of reminded me of this song for a minute. 

The day is brighter here with you
The night is lighter than its hue
Would lead me to believe
Which leads me to believe

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

My eyes are small but they have seen
the beauty of enormous things
Which leads me to believe
there's light enough to see that

(chorus)
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory
You are glorious You are glorious
From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious
Which leads me to believe
why I can believe that


You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
You make everything glorious
And I am Yours

From glory to glory From glory to glory
You are glorious. You are glorious.
You are glorious. You are glorious