So I'm a generally indecisive person. I don't know what caused this or when it became so apparent to me, but I've really been working on it recently. I didn't realize until yesterday how much that affects my life. The good part, though, is that it's both positive and negative! So we shall discuss... NOW!
I don't make decisions. That's just the fact of the matter. When someone asks me what I want to eat or where I want to go, I rarely make that decision. It stresses me out to the max. I'm really not sure why, because it's not that big of a decision. In those cases, it doesn't matter too much that I can't say this or that, because it's not life changing or anything. It does become a problem, though, when it keeps you from making extremely important decisions. If you weren't already aware, I have a boyfriend now. His name is Daniel. He is amazing. You should meet him someday. And when we came to the point where we had to determine if our relationship was going to go down the friendship path or the dating path, obviously my initial reaction was for it to go down the dating path. That's what I've been wanting for months now. So knowing that, it should have only taken two seconds, right? Wrong. There were so many things we had to discuss. I know that makes it seem more of a logic thing than a "I really like you" thing, but they were very important things, I promise. I don't take dating lightly, which you should know if you've read my blogs. Dating someone, especially in college, is a HUGE decision to make. So all of these things clouded my mind and made me feel like because we had to talk about it for so long, maybe we should just wait. There was a completely other side of my brain though, that was all "Caroline. You've been praying about this forever. Yall just talked for an hour about this. Just. Say. Yes." Obviously I did say yes, but for a few hours it still didn't feel real. I still had those thoughts that I made the wrong decision and it would have been better the other way. (BTW those thoughts went away. They're just part of my terrible decision making skills. Which is why I don't make decisions. It's not fun)
So onto the good part about this. Because I had so many... not concerns, but more like things that needed to be addressed, I feel like we're going into this relationship more prepared/ready than I've ever gone into a relationship feeling. To my knowledge, there's nothing we didn't cover. If I had just said yes right off the bat, we wouldn't have talked about all of that. We wouldn't know how the other felt about something, or how the other one expects the relationship to go. I think that's a problem in a lot of relationships: lack of communication. So I guess that's the good part of that.
But honestly, it shouldn't have been so hard to make a decision. I really need to work on that. Or maybe my relationship with God needs to be stronger so I can clearly determine what He wants for my life. I don't know. All I know, is that I made a decision, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm still a little in shock that this is real life, and that he actually likes me. But that's a story for another blog. Moral of the story: MAKE DECISIONS! (but don't get ahead of yourself. think about them for a bit)
I hope all of you are getting back into the swing of school and all that jazz. If you go to USC, let's hang out. If you don't (*cough cough* Hamps), you should text me. because I miss you. And that's that, ladies and gentlemen. I need a nap. and by nap I mean sleep. So goodnight world! I hope you learned something today. If not... well that's unfortunate.
I don't make decisions. That's just the fact of the matter. When someone asks me what I want to eat or where I want to go, I rarely make that decision. It stresses me out to the max. I'm really not sure why, because it's not that big of a decision. In those cases, it doesn't matter too much that I can't say this or that, because it's not life changing or anything. It does become a problem, though, when it keeps you from making extremely important decisions. If you weren't already aware, I have a boyfriend now. His name is Daniel. He is amazing. You should meet him someday. And when we came to the point where we had to determine if our relationship was going to go down the friendship path or the dating path, obviously my initial reaction was for it to go down the dating path. That's what I've been wanting for months now. So knowing that, it should have only taken two seconds, right? Wrong. There were so many things we had to discuss. I know that makes it seem more of a logic thing than a "I really like you" thing, but they were very important things, I promise. I don't take dating lightly, which you should know if you've read my blogs. Dating someone, especially in college, is a HUGE decision to make. So all of these things clouded my mind and made me feel like because we had to talk about it for so long, maybe we should just wait. There was a completely other side of my brain though, that was all "Caroline. You've been praying about this forever. Yall just talked for an hour about this. Just. Say. Yes." Obviously I did say yes, but for a few hours it still didn't feel real. I still had those thoughts that I made the wrong decision and it would have been better the other way. (BTW those thoughts went away. They're just part of my terrible decision making skills. Which is why I don't make decisions. It's not fun)
So onto the good part about this. Because I had so many... not concerns, but more like things that needed to be addressed, I feel like we're going into this relationship more prepared/ready than I've ever gone into a relationship feeling. To my knowledge, there's nothing we didn't cover. If I had just said yes right off the bat, we wouldn't have talked about all of that. We wouldn't know how the other felt about something, or how the other one expects the relationship to go. I think that's a problem in a lot of relationships: lack of communication. So I guess that's the good part of that.
But honestly, it shouldn't have been so hard to make a decision. I really need to work on that. Or maybe my relationship with God needs to be stronger so I can clearly determine what He wants for my life. I don't know. All I know, is that I made a decision, and I don't regret it one bit. I'm still a little in shock that this is real life, and that he actually likes me. But that's a story for another blog. Moral of the story: MAKE DECISIONS! (but don't get ahead of yourself. think about them for a bit)
I hope all of you are getting back into the swing of school and all that jazz. If you go to USC, let's hang out. If you don't (*cough cough* Hamps), you should text me. because I miss you. And that's that, ladies and gentlemen. I need a nap. and by nap I mean sleep. So goodnight world! I hope you learned something today. If not... well that's unfortunate.
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